Where Have I Been? Outfits and Excuses…

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I thought it would be a good idea to look back at some of last years style posts and explain my disappearance act at the same time. All of these photos didn’t make it to the original posts so I’m sharing them with you now.

If you are an avid follower of my blog, I’m sure you have been wondering where I’ve been. Or even if you are new, I’m sure you have seen the dates and frequency of my last posts and are wondering if I’m ever going to come back. I’ve been blogging on and off since 2011, but had a “re-brand” at the beginning of 2016? Due to other reasons, I was blogging on and off again, mainly due to working pretty much full time and living in a very dark & wet country!

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For a few years before that, I was getting these weird stomach twinges as I was eating. They weren’t all the time. Just on and off as I was eating. Sometimes the pain started as soon as I ate, sometimes the pain started about halfway through a meal. Occasionally the pain was bad enough to stop me eating, but it always went away on its own accord. As the pain kept disappearing I really didn’t think much of it. Plus, my eating habits during each episode was always different so I would put it down to that. For instance, during one flare up I had been eating a lot of takeaways and bad food. So obviously I just put it down to that. Then another time, I was going long periods of time without eating. So as I said, I really wasn’t that fazed by it.

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Shop the look here- Orginal post here

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So for a few years, this tummy pains would stop and start without too much of an impact, enough to stop me eating, but not impacting everyday life. Then at the end of 2016 around October time, the pain that I was initially getting started to become very very severe and stop me from eating almost every day and meal. It started to become so bad I would end up crying from the pain. Plus, it was pretty much every day I was struggling with food and this time it didn’t disappear. So of course, everyone around me family, friends and work colleagues noticed and urged me to go to the doctors. People from work had started to see because I was basically moaning about the pains and the weight I was beginning to lose was becoming noticeable. I had begun to choose to not eat as the pain was just too much and I couldn’t be bothered with fighting to eat food. I wasn’t really worried at this point, so I didn’t think it was much of an issue to choose to just not eat.

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So for a few years, this tummy pains would stop and start without too much of an impact, enough to stop me eating, but not impacting everyday life. Then at the end of 2016 around October time, the pain that I was initially getting started to become very very severe and stop me from eating almost every day and meal. It started to become so bad I would end up crying from the pain. Plus, it was pretty much every day I was struggling with food and this time it didn’t disappear. So of course, everyone around me family, friends and work colleagues noticed and urged me to go to the doctors. People from work had started to see because I was basically moaning about the pains and the weight I was beginning to lose was becoming noticeable. I had begun to choose to not eat as the pain was just too much and I couldn’t be bothered with fighting to eat food. I wasn’t really worried at this point, so I didn’t think it was much of an issue to choose to just not eat.

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Before I saw the doctor for the first time about it, I had already been watching what I was eating. To see if I could find a pattern. Of course most of the time when situations like this happen, it’s a gluten or dairy intolerance. But I was getting these pains on and off with whatever I eat. Plus, when I was eating something with gluten in it I wouldn’t always get the pains. So I knew it wasn’t an intolerance, I just felt in the pit of my stomach something wasn’t right! So the doctor did a few tests (I shall spare you some of the gory details) and the next step was a scan. But alas! We would never have to deal 2-monthlong wait…

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Shop the look here- Orginal post here

 

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Fast forward to the beginning of April and as I hadn’t been eating at all for a few days, my body flooded itself with something called Ketones (diabetic term but all of our bodies do this when it goes into starvation!). So I ended up severely ill in high dependency with DKA (diabetic ketoacidosis) which meant all through the night I was getting blood samples taken from me and I had about 5 drips going into my arms… Not fun. The first day I woke up, I had the most intense nausea I had ever experienced in my life. This then turned into being severely sick, even after I was having all the fluids. As well as also having the worst abdominal pains in my life, and because they didn’t know what could be causing the pain I had NO pain relief! The doctor on call over that weekend didn’t want to give me anything in case it aggravated whatever I had.

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Shop the look here- Orginal post here

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A surgeon was on call that weekend so the ward doctor called them to take a look at me, as I was pretty out of it from the pain I couldn’t really remember what he said. It wasn’t until a couple of days later when I was filling out a sick form for work did I get a name for what I possibly had. It was something called Gastroparesis. Since April of last year, I have been diagnosed with definitely having this, I’ve also had two more hospital visits (not including the two I’ve already had in the current new year) and had two feeding tubes fitted. Both of which were thrown up in the first 24 hours of having them… Great.

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Also since April, I have had pain so bad at home we have had to drive to A & E in the middle of the night just so I can get an injection of morphine as its the only pain relief to work! My whole body wriggles from side to side due to this pain, it’s absolutely agonising, I’ve never felt anything like it and I wouldn’t even wish it on my worse enemy. I’m also on oramorph (which is oral morphine) which actually isn’t strong enough… BUT because morphine can stop you from going to the toilet, they won’t prescribe me morphine patches at home. So right now, I just need to wish that this amount of pain doesn’t come back! Which is a scary thought, because I am stuck with this condition forever now. Which means I could get a flare up at any point.

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Shop the look here- Orginal post here

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So as of right now, I’ve just come out of a “flare up” which, for me means I’ve been getting constant pain with and without eating. Which is something it does now, a few years ago it was just directly caused by eating. I get bouts of nausea on and off as well as throwing up. Which is why I ended up in hospital at the end of last week again. For 4 days straight every bit of food I put into my stomach, I just instantly brought back up again. Hence why, when you eventually see new ootd posts from me, I will be A LOT thinner than these photos! It’s not by choice I’m underweight, I now have a condition that literally prevents me from eating!

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As I’ve written quite a lengthy post I’ll leave it at that for now! There’s still LOADS more I could have written about, but I wanted this to also ease me back into the ways of blogging again! I’m not going to promise a blogging schedule, or that I’ll even be able to blog regularly. As I can’t promise that anymore, I have to go by what my tummy is feeling! When I can, I want to push myself to get outfit photos. I’d like to go as far as shooting more than one outfit in a day so that when I’m unwell I can still post! But realistically, I can’t promise anything anymore. Especially because I am so underweight and malnourished. One bad week of not eating and that’s me floored for another week! I actually collapsed in my kitchen and chipped a tooth…

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Shop the look here- Orginal post here

I had a really really shitty ill year in 2017, my overall diabetes control is getting better and the blood test results are showing this. So I am remaining hopeful (for now) that things are going to get better and 2018 can finally be my year! My diabetic doctor even said that nerve damage is funny. Looking after yourself quickly in a short space of time can set a lot of it off. I’d really like to get an outfit post up soon as I really miss, I’m at least hoping to record videos as I don’t need to rely on the weather for that.

I’d like to think that a lot of you had a better year last year than me! Statistically speaking most of you should have had at least a semi-decent year. If you didn’t have a great or normilish year, then I hope tha this year is even greater for you!

2 Comments

  1. January 28, 2018 / 12:48 pm

    Sorry you had to go through that 🙁 Sounds like you’ve had a pretty tough year! Hoping you’ve come out of it a much stronger person mentally from it gurl… I love all of these photos, you’re so photogenic! Here’s to a happier healthier year in 2018 ey!

    Love Imogen / imogenrose.co.uk

    • 5ftlife
      January 28, 2018 / 3:48 pm

      Thank you for popping over and reading it! Yeah just a bit 😉 But positive thinking, this is going to be my year! ( as well as yours :P) Thank you thats so kind! Oh I pray to god it is and im not religious! LOL Good luck xx

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